When we’re the same we don’t have to be different. It takes a lot of work to be different. Stepping outside the box. Baring it all. Risking rejection.

And yet we’re told we are the same. We are no different than anybody else. But the difference is palpable. And so we try to fit in, try to fix it. Because we think we can. Because we think we must.

But keeping up takes work. The energy of conformity, the emotional toll of having to be and do something other than what comes naturally. But it’s hard to let go. There’s less fear in complacency.

Just like everybody else. Nothing to see here, move along folks.

Is this my path of least resistance? Adoptees are notorious for chameleon-like behavior, after all.

And then, as if we weren’t confused enough already:

Just be yourself!

My self is trying.

Just be yourself!

My self is more worried that you’ll leave, more fearful that you’ll hurt me, than concerned about figuring out what you really mean when you say, “just be yourself”.

So. Does my difference need fixing?


About mirellawarren

social work consultant, transracial adoptee, adoptee rights advocate, writer
This entry was posted in personal narrative and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s